Mommification

Can you leave some space for other features to shine through the Mom label?

I recently came across a word that stopped me in my tracks: “mommification”.

The word describes the erasure of a woman's identity as she becomes a mother. It brought back memories of the hardest thing about early motherhood for me. Not the sleepless nights or the logistics. But the quiet loss of self.

Research shows that new mothers often lose status in their careers, feel forced to choose between high-performing jobs and their children, and abruptly exit workplaces. But it doesn't stop at work. Once they become moms, many also give up friendships, hobbies, and the simple pleasure of time that belongs only to them.

Here's what I wish someone told me: that time you spend on your growth, health, and friendships is not selfish. It makes you a better mother, a better colleague, a better partner. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and the world doesn't need a version of you that has been flattened into a single role.

If you're a mom: protect something that is only yours. Working out, a friendship, a project. Don't let it be sacrificed on the altar of motherhood.

If you manage or mentor mothers: notice when capable women start shrinking. Encourage them to keep the momentum in their lives and talk openly about the compromises they feel like they need to make.

Mommification is real. But it's not inevitable.

📖 Read the full Psychology Today piece here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cultural-competence/202604/our-culture-of-mommification